We’ve all been through it, the heart wrenching process of going through a break-up from a significant other. It will definitely be no surprise for you to know that I’ve had my heart broken and been hurt not just by my ex-boyfriends but sometimes by friends too. Anyway, my point is that even after experiencing all this pain and drama, I’ve come out of all these experiences as a winner. Why you ask? Well, first of all, I’ve become wiser and learned from my past mistakes. Secondly, I have proved to myself that I truly have a great support system. They help me get back up on my feet and never disappoint me. As my title says, I am here to discuss with you how I managed to pick up the pieces and be part of society again (since when you go through a break-up you tend to want to be alone). I am not suggesting in any way that you should do what I did but I hope it manages to inspire you to realize that a break-up is not the end of the world or your life, this too will pass and eventually you will laugh about it. There is no right & wrong way of how you should deal with it but you have to accept the fact that you do have to deal with the pain and not ignore it in order to move forward.
So how did I deal when I got my heart shattered?? How did I rebuild?
1. Mourn the relationship and just accept the reality of being single – I must say though that to accept the fact that the relationship has ended is the most difficult and you might get tempted to reach out but trust me when I say that you must fight the urge with all your might to end that communication and just flat out burn those bridges. Going back and forth will just mess with your heart & head. Once you’ve accepted that, you will feel what seems to be an endless river of pain and when you feel that, you just need to cry it out. There’s nothing wrong in crying because for me it will help you release all that emotion and after a good cry you feel all light and lifted.
2. Family – Nothing beats having your family with you during a rough time. They will be there to support you and keep you company when you are lonely. It doesn’t hurt also to be with family because they make you feel loved and accepted.
3. Occupy your time the best possible way you can – I would always go out with Allyson or friends so I would forget about how I was feeling and just be in that moment enjoying myself with good people. Plus good people give out good advice so you can definitely pick up from them and they instantly lift up your mood.
4. Get it out of your system – I used to talk about the details of the break-up all the time but I only shared the story to the people I knew who cared about me. It’s good to just keep talking about it because eventually you realize that you’re tired talking about it and repeating yourself all the time then you get to a point that you just want to stop sharing and just go on with your life.
5. Pray – I am a Roman Catholic and it has always been ingrained in me that the Lord will be there no matter what. I prayed for courage to rise up and face the day with a smile on my face. I prayed for the seemingly unending pain to stop. I prayed for strength to forgive the people who have hurt me. I prayed until all seemed well and then I prayed again just to thank the Lord for being with me through the difficult times.
6. Move On – After some time, you reach that stage where you are ready to charge ahead and take your life into your own hands. You decide that it’s time to move on and be part of the dating scene again. If you’re lucky you meet THAT guy and all the pain seems like a blur from the past.
Break-ups are just part of life and whatever the reason it may be behind each break-up story it is definitely not enough of a reason for you to just give up on life and curl up in your bed for the rest of your years.
So go on! Get up and discover what life has in store for you 🙂
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