Personal: Too Picky?

When I was younger, I used to have a checklist of what my perfect boyfriend / partner would be like. He would be tall, muscular, a man’s man, a gentleman, the perfect sweetheart / romantic, someone who I can be proud of and my family accepted. Of course, as you would expect, the list doesn’t end there. But now that I am at the age where I have matured (at least I think I have), these things do not seem to matter that much anymore. It would be great if I met someone and he had some of the qualities I’ve been looking for in a man but if not, I’ve learned to accept and compromise.

Lately, Allyson and I have been talking much more about our future particularly about the love life subject. We seem to be both eager plus excited to meet the men that can make our hearts skip a beat once again. I always share with her how much I miss having a companion in life who I can share anything with and be my silly self but unfortunately, it’s either timing is not on my side or I just don’t meet anyone I’m interested in. Don’t get me wrong though, I do love my life right now and I am still enjoying the single life but at the end of the day, I think to myself, it would be nice to share the great moments with someone special.

As my best friend, Allyson is not afraid to tell me the cold hard truth which I appreciate at times and at certain points I don’t because it does hit me so hard. We would be out (which is normal) and she would point a guy out to me who would look so physically attractive but I would always find something I don’t like about him. Believe me, I’m not trying to sound superficial since it all boils down to how well I can get along with someone and their personality of course but the point is I always spot a flaw. This is the time Allyson would be all up in my ear telling me off about having high standards plus being too picky.

My question is though, is being too picky and knowing what you want the same or entirely different things? Is it bad to look for something you know you want and disregard what you don’t like? I don’t want to proclaim that I am “too picky” because I feel in my heart that I’m not. I just know what I like and I want to stick to that. When Allyson reads this, I am sure her first thought would be “Karen, you are not getting any younger!” but my rebuttal to that is “I do not want to rush into things just because of that.” .

Maybe that day will come and maybe not, either way, I just have to live my life and live it to the fullest as much as I can.

Any advice for me? Leave it at the comments section below please 🙂

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DISCLAIMER: http://lifewithkarlly.com/disclaimer/ – As of this posting, I am yet to meet a decent guy who will tickle my fancy.


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KHA

7 Comments on Personal: Too Picky?

  1. TJC Films
    October 12 at 1:09 PM (2 years ago)

    Having a list of needs and wants is perfectly fine. Everyone has one even if it is subconsciously. But you also have to be pragmatic and know that no one person will ever match up with everything on that list. You’ll find some who are close but it will really be a matter of overlooking the things that don’t match up. If a man sees you as special and treats you well or at least expresses his desire to do so and starts making the effort see what happens and don’t overthink it. His good qualities might ended overriding the list and you’ll be truly happy with them. Or overthink it worry about what they don’t have, worry about them falling outside of your desired parameters and lose them due to your inaction. At least give them a legit chance and treat them warmly. Be open to it. If you go at it like a stand off or to are hard to see what he will tolerate you will lose him as well. A man is willing to overlook a lot for the woman he is curious about and excited to see. But if you act indifferent, cold or like a tough girl he is gone for sure and you’ve missed a possible chance at happiness. That happened to me recently. I was all about it and she was on the fence. Last time I saw her she was harsh and I made up my mind that I was done. Even after she contacted me I didn’t care anymore. No one will ever be perfect but enough of what they have could be prefect for you. You just have to chance it.

    Reply
    • Karlly
      Karlly
      October 12 at 2:55 PM (2 years ago)

      Hi TJC! I totally agree with you that’s why I mentioned that the list I conjured up was when I was at a younger age and at this time I am more open and willing to overlook certain quirks, compromise and be more accepting. But don’t get me wrong, there are still some things though that I just can’t simply tolerate unless I am proven wrong or the effort is really there. If the interest shown to me is simply just that without any sincere effort, I surely don’t want to waste my time. – Karen

      Reply
  2. iulian
    October 13 at 12:28 AM (2 years ago)

    Hi Karlly,
    let me say that you chose an interesting topic and with your permission i willl point out why:
    You choose to speak about yourself so i believe you will admit that you want people to read about you and to get to know you.
    you open yourself to the readers to a pretty high level starting from childhood, talking about life in present and in the end you seek our (readers) advice.so will you admit that you seek some attention towards yourself?
    In the same time if someone will approach you, instantly your mind will defend you by inventing all sorts of defects(maybe some of them are there maybe some of them are not) in a way that you will not have to meet or to open up to anybody which leads ( from my point of view) to fear of letting others to know you, or to make an impression of you which comes in contradiction to your above action: talking about yourself.
    My bottom line is: either get over this fear and meet someone, maybe he will turn out to be a real gentlemen; either don’t get over the fear, live with it and in your 40s you will eventually settle but forced by the age. Sorry to be hursh, but as Allison knows me, it’s for purely constructive reasons 🙂

    Reply
    • Karlly
      Karlly
      October 13 at 7:50 AM (2 years ago)

      Hi Iulian, not to sound defensive but I am not trying to seek attention rather trying to get some viewpoints only on the said topic. As this is a blog I run with my best friend, we have decided early on that the blog will be a platform for where we can discuss anything and everything that piques our interests and of course, love is one of them plus dating. Also, I would say that it is a bit much to think that you can get to know someone just from one post, what I’m trying to say is that what I mentioned on the post is my own set of opinions only which doesn’t necessarily reflect my whole being. Hope that makes sense. Anyway, when I started writing this post, I did expect that people will have their own set of thoughts on the matter but didn’t expect that men will be replying to the post though it is certainly welcomed. There is no need to apologize for being harsh because everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I take that into consideration as well. Like I said in the post, it will eventually boil down to how well I can get along with someone and their personality of course. Thanks anyway for the advice 🙂 – Karen

      Reply
  3. Ms. Hala
    October 13 at 2:13 PM (2 years ago)

    I was the same way until it hit me that there’s a difference between being picky and having standards. Don’t get the two mixed up.

    It’s good to know what you want in a life partner but remain open minded as you never know whom can walk into your life and make a powerful impact.

    Reply
    • Karlly
      Karlly
      October 13 at 3:17 PM (2 years ago)

      Hi Hala!! So nice to hear from you 🙂 I have learned through my experiences not to always have my “walls” up and entertain the thought of meeting someone by really random circumstances. I will do try to always keep an open mind (this is something I know that I have to work on) and hope that someone interesting comes along. – Karen

      Reply
      • Ms. Hala
        October 13 at 4:22 PM (2 years ago)

        I know hun, I’m working on it myself too! Here’s to the lucky someone whom finds us in their path =)

        Reply

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