Personal: Making the First Move

I noticed that my previous personal post (read it HERE) has received some comments from mostly the opposite sex (which was unexpected but truly welcomed) so I thought why not get their opinions about another issue that has been arousing my curiosity.

During the less modern times, society has ingrained in women that they shouldn’t approach / initiate the first move towards men but instead let the latter set things in motion. Women who do not abide by this are usually subject to judgment and being deemed as a slut (unfortunately mostly by the same sex). In Filipino culture, it is usually advised to the ladies to play hard to get hence approaching a guy was never considered a norm.

But thankfully now, times have changed plus evolved (I would like to think so) where it is normally / socially accepted for women to take their destinies into their own hands and plunge forward in making the first move.

I applaud women who can casually approach a guy to show their interest due to the fact that I am not “ballsy” enough to do it (I regret to say that even if I am utterly intoxicated my brain will not get me to do it). Don’t get me wrong, I also take my hat off to the men who have the guts to start the ball rolling since they also face the same consequence of being rejected (which is my actual fear).

My question now to the men is if a woman approaches you plus tells you that she is interested in you, how do you react? Are you turned off by the woman or turned on? Has it actually ever happened to you?

Now for the ladies who have done it, what was the experience like? and for those who haven’t, do you think you’ll ever try it at least even once?

As for me, yeah, I might one day muster up the courage to do the first move but until then I’m just gonna “keep swimming” (as Dory once said).

Let me know your thoughts! Leave it at the comments section below please 🙂

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DISCLAIMER: http://lifewithkarlly.com/disclaimer/ – As of this posting, I am yet to approach a guy and make my move.


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KHA

5 Comments on Personal: Making the First Move

  1. TJC Films
    October 15 at 4:45 PM (2 years ago)

    Has only happened a few times. Never turned me off at all. It was a nice surprise and usually moved things along a faster pace with a much more relaxed vibe because there isn’t that does she dig me or not thing going on in your head. You know she does so it is full steam ahead. Even when men do make the first move which is pretty tough for me to do…Especially when they are really attractive women often don’t give off an open and happy to talk to you vibe. It is more stand offish and pretty frustrating actually. Rejecting compliments, not messaging back until well later, acting indifferent when they see you. Women now days make you fight for affection and it sucks. If a woman isn’t warm to me after a bit I move on. Obviously she doesn’t value my company or efforts enough to be open and relaxed or show happiness towards me so I will move on and hopefully find someone who will. That all being said…Ladies if you dig a man just go for it. He and you will be glad you did. And if he isn’t feeling it at least you will know and it will be out of the way.

    Reply
    • Karlly
      Karlly
      October 18 at 12:12 PM (2 years ago)

      I’m glad to know that not all men are turned off by women being bold and making the first move. This just shows that I was right in mentioning that in this modern era, most people are more accepting and open minded about the concept. – Karen

      Reply
  2. iulian
    October 16 at 11:09 PM (2 years ago)

    Hi Karen, 

    Hats off for the interesting topic.

    In my opinion being afraid of rejection is something normal and natural. 

    I believe that what is very important (heard it once in a seminar and i agree) is how you dust yourself off after a rejection i.e. you either are harsh on yourself and say never again will you do that in your life or you say it was just bad luck and simply move on. 

    I find that is very hard for a girl to make the first move mainly because some women are a little more sensitive than some men (purely my thought) but for those who do, i have nothing but admiration and respect for their courage and free spirit.

    Now, to answer your questions:

    If a woman approaches me definitely i’m interested at least in knowing her. Whether i’m turned on or not depends if we click.

    And yes, i have been approached quite recently (by a gorgeous one btw).

    Iulian.

    Reply
    • Karlly
      Karlly
      October 18 at 12:21 PM (2 years ago)

      Hi Iulian, definitely agree with you especially on dusting yourself up and trying again (though it may be tough sometimes, ultimately we all have to soldier on) plus the part about how hard it is for a girl to make the first move (because it is, at least in my opinion). – Karen

      Reply
  3. Kambal
    October 18 at 12:29 PM (2 years ago)

    I told you, suck it up and just do it! Have the balls and go talk. You’re not going to lose anything anyway, it’s the chance you’ll lose of knowing someone who might be “the one” if you let it pass 🙂
    Go for it! You have my back!

    Reply

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